I looked around me. It was pitch black.
“Hello? Is anybody there?” There was no reply. What am I doing here? Fear swept
over me. Suddenly the sound of a light switching on was heard. I turned around
and saw a light shining dimly above a door in the other end of the room. I
slowly walked towards it. The door was brown and old. Cracks could be seen and
it had a lock on it. I reached out and held the lock in my hand, the coldness
of the rusted metal could be felt by my shivering fingers. Suddenly I felt
something in my left hand. I opened it and saw an old key with the ancient
patterns like in the olden days. Since when did it get there? I put the key in
the keyhole and it was a perfect fit. Thoughts were swirling in my head. Should
I or should I not open the door? A sudden fear gripped me. It seemed like a bad
idea to open it, but I was curious. They said curiosity killed the cat. But
then, who could resist the sweetness of temptation? It took the better of me
and I gave in. I gently turned the key towards the right, and it clicked.
*****
The door creaked open, but nothing
could be seen for it was still filled with darkness. I braved myself and took a
step forward. Suddenly, I felt the loss of gravity and realised I was falling.
“Argghhhhhhh!” I landed on the floor with a loud thud. Ouch! That hurt. I stood
up and massaged my bottom when I heard some noises. I looked up and found
myself in a street. I walked around. The buildings seemed kind of old and with
a vintage taste to it, like in the 1980’s. I turned into a corner and stopped right
in front of a coffee shop named ‘Ben’s Breakfast Parlor”. I looked through the
clear glass window and saw people drinking tea and chit-chatting inside. My
stomach grumbled so I decided to grab something to fill it. I took a seat at a
tiny table in the corner and ordered a blueberry cheese pie along with a cup of
freshly brewed Twining’s English Breakfast Tea. When it arrived, I gobbled it
down, regardless of the looks I’m getting. I didn’t know I was so hungry. Mmmm.
This pie tastes delicious. I briefly made a mental reminder to come back for
some more pie in the near future.
Suddenly a loud noise of something
broken was heard. I was startled and almost jumped out of my seat. Around the
counter area, a waitress could be seen apologizing profusely to a man for
accidentally pouring a pot of piping hot coffee on him. She took some napkins
and started dabbing on the tall man’s shirt. From the looks of it, he was
probably in his early 20’s. He wore a smart suit; he was tall and slim and
looked extremely handsome. I heard the girl muttering something about offering
to pay for the dry cleaning. A smile formed on the man’s face, exposing his
perfect rows of sparkling white teeth. He was not even a tad bit angry. He put
both his hands on the waitress’s shoulders and told her that it was really okay
and she need not worry about a thing. Her cheeks turned scarlet and whispered
thank you. The waitress was a beautiful young woman; with auburn long hair, big
blue eyes, gentle red lips and the fairest skin I have ever seen. I could see
the look on the man’s face when he looked into her eyes and told her that it
was fine. “That’s something right there.” I smiled at the thought as I finished
my last bite of pie. I paid and walked out of the diner, and I lost my balance
once again.
*****
Splashhhhhh! I accidentally swallowed a
mouthful of seawater. It tasted extremely salty. That was when I realized I
have landed in the middle of the ocean. I saw a shore nearby and began swimming
as fast as I could to it. I thank God the ocean was calm and they were no
storms. I was out of breath and panting wildly when I reached ashore. Every
part of my body was aching and I was so exhausted, so exhausted. I dragged
myself a little upwards then dropped onto the soft white sand and soon I was
fast asleep.
*****
I was jolted awake by the sound of
laughter. It sounded lovely. I have not heard that kind of laughter in a long
time, it was like I could almost hear the love and joy in that sweet sound. I
tried to search where that sound was coming from but it was a challenge since
it was already night time and the beach was covered in sheer darkness, except
for the faint lights that came from the stars above. Far to my right, I vaguely
saw the shadows of a guy and a girl. She was running and laughing. The laugh
belonged to her. Oh how I loved her laughter. He was chasing after her,
laughing too. Soon he caught up and pulled her into his arms for a full and
warm embrace. Something warm stirred up inside me and my heart just melted.
They seemed so carefree, so young and so happy, worriless about everything
else in the world. They were in their seventh heaven. There was a picnic cloth
laid open on the sandy ground, they walked towards it, hand in hand then lay
down; her head resting on his chest and his arm around her. The guy kissed her
hair and pointed towards the sky. I, too, lifted my head up and saw that the
sky was blanketed with a gazillion tiny stars, shining brightly down on earth.
The picturesque view was breathtaking, almost like a piece of fine art drawn by
a skillful artist. I lay down with my arms behind my head and enjoyed the view
as well. Ahhhh, love is in the air. I love seeing couples together like this. I
wasn’t able to hide the grin on my face. I closed my eyes and let out a soft
sigh of contentment. In the next moment, I felt like I was falling again.
*****
I landed with a loud thud this time. A
grassy green field was my landing. Westlife’s “Beautiful in White” was playing
on the stereo. It was my favourite song. I hummed along with the lyrics of the
song “So as long as I live I’ll love you, will have and hold you, you look so
beautiful in white…” as I slowly drank in my surroundings. The sun was shining
but the weather wasn’t hot. The flowers were blooming magnificently for it was
spring time. The wind was blowing humbly and the atmosphere was just perfect.
“The wedding ceremony is about to commence so if everybody could please kindly
grab a seat…”, the emcee’s voice blared loudly through the microphone. Hmm, so
I’m in a wedding. I followed the crowd as we found our seats and sat down.
It was a garden wedding in mid spring.
The aisle was surrounded by bouquets of white and pink roses while the petals
of red roses were scattered on the white carpet, the breathtaking sunset
scenery that filled the sky with a mixture of different shades of orange and
purple colours. God’s creations are great. A young lady started playing Canon
in D Major with a harp at the side, everyone turned to the back to look at the
bride. It was the same girl I saw at the breakfast parlor and at the beach, but
she looked a little older here. No words can even start to describe how
absolutely stunning she looks in that wedding dress. It was a long white,
off-shoulder dress, designed with lace, beads and sequins that flattered her
petite body shape. She looked like an angel, fallen from heaven above. She was
holding a bouquet of beautiful red roses. Her roses and her dark red lipstick
stood out because it was a contrast to everything else. I will never be able to
get that image of her out of my mind. Her hand was linked in her dad’s as he
walked her down the aisle, showing the proudness every dad would be of his
precious little girl.
At the other end of the aisle was the
same man I saw her with. He was wearing a black tuxedo that also shows off his
fit and muscular body shape. His copper hair was combed back neatly and his
cute little bow tie hanged around his neck. He looked so handsome. They were
like two peas in a pod, perfect for each other. Their eyes met and I could
sense the electricity between them. It was like the whole world didn’t matter
anymore except for the both of them. She has him and he has her, that’s all that
really matters. They reached the end of the aisle; her dad kissed her on the
cheek and handed her over to his son-in-law. They smiled sweetly at each other
as they turned towards the minister. “My friends, we are gathered here today to
celebrate one of life's greatest moments, to give recognition to the worth and
beauty of committed marital love, and to add our best wishes to the words which
shall unite James Kavanagh and Claire Love in marriage.” “I believe you have
prepared your vows?” They both nodded and turned to face each other.
“I, James Kavanagh, solemnly vow that
I will safeguard and hold dear and deep in my heart our union and you, Claire
Love. I promise to love you faithfully, forsaking all others, through the good
times and the bad, in sickness and in health, regardless of where life takes
us. I will protect you, trust you, and respect you. I will share in your joys
and sorrows and comfort you in times of need. I promise to cherish you and
uphold your hopes and dreams and keep you safe at my side. All that is mine is
now yours. I give you my hand, my heart, and my love from this moment on for as
long as we both shall live.”
“I, Claire Love, give you, James
Kavanagh, my solemn vow to be your faithful partner in sickness and in health,
to stand by your side in good times and in bad, to share your joy as well as
your sorrow. I promise to love you unconditionally, to support you in your
goals and dreams, to honor and respect you, to laugh with you and cry with you,
to share my hopes and dreams with you, and bring you solace in times of need,
and to cherish you for as long as we both shall live. My world begins and ends
with you. You are my love and my life.”
They slipped on the platinum wedding
bands unto their partner’s finger and kissed. “I now pronounce you husband and
wife!” My eyes were brimming with tears. James and Claire looked so happy
together, they stared into each other’s eyes with such love and bliss, and it
was like they couldn’t see anyone else except for each other. It was like a fairytale
come true. I closed my eyes to blink away the tears but I found myself
transported into another time and place.
*****
“Who the hell is she and why is she on
our bed?!”, Claire shouted through her lungs. “You,” she pointed towards the
naked woman in the sheets of her bed, “Get the hell out of my house!” The woman
grabbed her clothes in a hurry and bolted out the door. “Do you not remember
your wedding vows to me?” Claire was crying now. “Have you forgotten what you
said to me?” “Oh stop with that drama and the crying already! That was the
past. I don’t love you anymore, okay? I got bored of you after a while. You’re
just not good enough for me. You’re so annoying; I wish you would just leave me
alone, for God’s sake!” he got out of bed and took his car keys and wallet.
“Oh, and the divorce papers are on the table, sign it and leave. I’ve had
enough of you.” With that, he stormed out of the house.
Oh no. I whispered to myself. Why is
this happening? They were so in love. What happened? Claire dropped to her knees and sobbed her
eyes and heart out. I felt so sad and sorry for her. I wanted to reach out and
hold her but I couldn’t. She could neither see nor feel me. Oh I’m so sorry,
Claire. I felt helpless. James is such an ass! I was overwhelmed with a sudden
anger.
I ran downstairs and caught up to him
and followed him. I got into his car with him as he drove. I was full with
fury. I wanted to kill him; I wanted to hurt him so badly just to let him know
how he made Claire feel. I wanted to stab his heart again and again until
nothing’s left but holes everywhere. I wanted him to die. My body was trembling
with anger, but I couldn’t do anything. I couldn’t do anything…
“HONKKKKKK!” Suddenly I was thrown
forward from my seat. James’s car had collided with a big truck. I could hear
the screams of the people at the side of the street. “Call 911! Call 911!” I
stood beside him. I heard the sirens of the ambulance. I saw him lying
unconsciously on the floor. I saw the paramedics try to save him. I saw his him
lose a large amount of blood. I heard his heartbeat weakening. I rode in the
ambulance with him as they brought him to the hospital to be saved.
After hours and hours in the emergency
room and many doctors, James’s condition was finally stabilized. He was moved
to another room where he lay alone, quietly. He was in the state of a coma. The
soft beeping sound of the heart monitor was the only noise that came from the
room and remained the only noise for a few weeks after that. Nobody came to
visit him. He had no friends and family and pushed away the only person he had
that loved him - his wife. I sit beside his bed every day. I hear the faint
“Beep, beep” sound that came from the machine. I see the nurse coming in and
out every few hours or so to check on him and to change his IV packs.
I looked at him with disgust and anger;
still not subsiding even though it has been weeks since the divorce. “You
idiot! You let her go! You damn fool! You had such a beautiful woman who loved
you more than anyone ever could and would sacrifice everything for you but you
let her go. You let her go! Now you’re all alone. You have no one to blame but
yourself. You know what? You deserve this. You deserve this accident. You
deserve to die. You hurt the only woman who could ever love you. You shattered
her heart into a million pieces. I didn’t like seeing her cry. I loved her
laugh and her gorgeous smile. I loved it when she was happy. I hope she moves
on and finds someone that could provide her with the true love she deserves. Oh
poor Claire. You took her for granted. You took her love for granted. I hate
you! I hate you!” I buried my head between my hands and cried.
*****
“It’s time to go.” The angel of death stood
beside me. He was all dressed in black; his face was hidden under the hood of
his cloak. In his hand he held a sharp scythe. He held his cold, bony hand out
to me. I took it willingly, and together, we walked into the black abyss.
*****
They say that before you die, your
entire life will enfold before your eyes. You will be taken on a journey to
relive your memories one last time. I pray and I hope you will do well in your
life, be the best person you can be, so that when you flashback, you get to see
all the good things you’ve done and you can leave the world with no regrets.
*****
“Lub-dub. Lub-dub.” And his heart beat
stopped entirely. The machine stopped beeping and a perfect straight line was
formed on it.
*****
I was that
man.
© MAVERLYN TAN
I feel like I'm losing myself, trying to become someone else.
